Inside this Issue:
Pastor Pete's Inflatable Chapel!
'Show Time' with Tony Fondle
Bunty de Brie's Tip of the Week
Jammin' with Theodore Snake
'Beneath the Blanket' with Mrs Leatherbarrow
official newsletter for luxury home owners. Edited by Sue Peach
Editor's Pick
The Fernlea Super Voyager
Editor's pick for June is the formidable Fernlea Super Voyager 48 and probably the best caravan there is!
Posing as a traditional 48 foot luxury home, the Super Voyager disguises some remarkable inovations that make it truly exceptional amongst vans of its class.
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Posing as a traditional 48 foot luxury home, the Super Voyager disguises some remarkable inovations that make it truly exceptional amongst vans of its class.
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Gone, are the little plastic cups with criss-cross cuts that allow tea towels to be poked inside, with the added risk of pinching your fingers in the process. The Super Voyager 48 is fitted with a clever little brass hook next to the sink drainer and holds a complementary, Fernlea embossed, tea towel and oven glove set.
It's that kind of luxury that makes tomorrow's dream become today's reality.
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Coming Soon
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Van make-overs with Bunty de Brie.
Stylish make-over ideas for your luxury home, plus Bunty's tip of the week.
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Van make-overs with Bunty de Brie.
Stylish make-over ideas for your luxury home, plus Bunty's tip of the week.
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Bunty's Tip of the Week
Ever found the perfect addition for your luxury home? That little discovery happened upon by chance when browsing through some emporium, or other, and thought, wonderful! Then sat comfortably with a lemon cordial on your bay window sofa, cum pull-out double bed, admiring your new adornment. But as your gaze shifts to the wall above the gas hob, it strikes you! that glaring red violation, the fire extinguisher.
Well, we've all been there, and we know the importance of a fire extinguisher in our holiday homes. But what if we could do something to soften the intrusion? Well here's my tip of the week...
The fire sock - a simple idea that's fun to make. Any old sock will do, and a little loop sewn into the top will act as a neat hook to hang on the fridge door handle
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Next week, oven gloves with attitude.
Bunty de Brie is the home design and lifestyle correspondent for the Rhyl Examiner.
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Carlos Speaks
Lord Roberts. Owner of Passing Clouds Holiday Homes
Like millions of soccer fans all over the world, Passing Clouds is counting down the days to this summer’s world cup tournament in South Africa.
I was honoured at the weekend to attend the launch of our new Phase Three development, here at the retreat, and was deeply humbled by a special ceremony to mark the achievements made in South Africa, with the unveiling of a plaque to commemorate the opening of our new Nelson Mandela car park.
Access to the new Nelson Mandela car park will be via the existing John F Kennedy coin operated security barrier.
Hey! Welcome back.
Ming and Tabetha, reunited. (archive photo)
It’s a warm welcome back to Ming and Tabetha following their return from the Birkenhead Emulsifier plant on the Wirral and the successful operation to remove the yellow growth on the side of Ming’s beak.
More good news was the reopening of the dolphinarium and the Board of Trade approval on welding repairs to the side of the tank.
So, it’s business as usual and feeding time will be held every afternoon at four o’clock. This will be for Tabetha only, at the moment, as Ming is currently being fed through a tube. But hey! Why not throw a few fish through the old kitchen blender and give Ming a treat too!
It’s party time, folks!
Star Struck!
Luke Benidorm
Highlights from the hit TV show ‘Rhyl’s Got Talent’ with Luke Benidorm.
Sally Quench-Jenkins can put away her bio-degradable bags and look to the future as she steps from simple Tesco checkout girl to international ventriloquial stardom. She was spotted by Luke at the Llandudno superstore when she vented a voice into his tin of corned beef on the checkout conveyor belt. Then, to the amazement of gathered shoppers, she managed to throw her voice into a box of Persil, third shelf up next to the freezer aisle.
But it was her performance in last night’s ‘Rhyl’s Got Talent’ grand final that set her on the road to world acclaim. Her victory, scooping eighty three percent of the personal alarms for the elderly vote, is seen as a record for the popular talent show.
Last year’s winner, Ifor Davis (the yodelling bailiff) performed his Argos Blues hit before presenting Sally with a magnificent floral bouquet.
Well done, Sally. Have a gottle of geer.
Pump up the Lord!
This weekend sees the celebration of the festival of St Dudno, after whom, nearby Llandudno was named.
Helping out with the Lord praising side of things will be our old friend, Pastor Pete,
who'll be bringing along his famous inflatable chapel.
Many of you will remember Pete for his unusual, and certainly unorthodox, baptism rituals. But divided opinion is a challenge Pastor Pete has always met with good grace, and it’s good to see him back in North Wales, following a long period of absence.
Sunday’s service will commence with a congregational salute to St Dudno’s ancient home, the Great Orme. Then, following tea and biscuits, the pump will be started and the inflation will commence.
‘A gust is a wind to those who pray’
Pastor Pete
P.
Hello Charlie!
Dring-Dring!
It’s Charlie Chumpy, folks. ‘The deranged gynaecologist’ who’ll be pedalling his scooter round the retreat this Summer with tricks and treats up his sleeve to entertain kids of all ages – yes grandma – we mean you too!
Don’t forget to give him a wave, Kids.
Brendan's Choice
Brendan Thirlmere
From time to time, like most men, I like to varnish my feet with polyurethane wood stain. Sometimes I varnish a little higher up the leg and draw a thin black pencil line half way up the back of the calf, for greater effect.
Chit-chat, I know, but on a recent visit to France I was devastated to learn the government had imposed a ban on the use of polyurethane products with certain swimwear garments. Quel dommage! I cried. Frome-Fromage! What if the security scanner at Paris Charles de Gaulle were to detect my varnish! It was a long lasting, UV protected application too!
The solution, as it turned out, was remarkably simple…
You can read Brendan’s exciting story ‘Hot Legs’ in this week’s Rhyl Examiner.
Brendan Thirlemere is chief science and travel correspondent for the Rhyl Examiner
Brendan Thirlemere is chief science and travel correspondent for the Rhyl Examiner
Show Time!
Stratos Entertainment in association with Ivor Parry-Jones Presents:
"The Tony Fondle Experience"
"The Tony Fondle Experience"
Reving up, Tony Fondle
Star of sixties TV hit show ‘The Fondle Family’
Star of sixties TV hit show ‘The Fondle Family’
He’s back! Old favourite Tony Fondle heads an all star line up for our super spring schedule.
...Hit me! Tony.
Also coming in spring:
Graham Zodiac
Also coming in spring:
Graham Zodiac
Man of mystery and internationally acclaimed hypnotist – be amazed as you go under his power.
The Llandudno Women’s Male-Voice Choir.
Old Man River, and many more
Ifor Davies
(The yodeling bailiff) ‘I come knocking’ - ‘Argos blues’ all your old favourites.
Tickets, as always, available from Heather Roberts at reception.
Tickets, as always, available from Heather Roberts at reception.
Raising the Challenger
Challenger. Almost there
She has rested on the sea bed for over eighty years, barnacled, rusting and forgotten to the world. But now the Challenger is being raised to the surface and will return to Rhyl after her long voyage through time. It was the great storm of September 1936 that sent Challenger to the bottom, and though no fatalities were reported, her loss was deeply felt by the local community.
Built for the Rhyl and Prestatyn Steam Package company, Challenger became an old favourite for passengers plying the coast of North Wales, with many enjoying stunning scenery from her open top deck.
But the long journey that commenced in September 1936 is now nearing an end. Salvage teams are preparing for the final lift, ten metres from the end of Rhyl pier, and Challenger will finally come home. It will be a deeply moving day for the communities of Rhyl and Prestatyn, where a tear or two will certainly be shed .
Welcome home dear old friend. Welcome home mighty Challenger!
MV Abergele. Heavy lift vessel
Challenger. Hand brake problems were well known..
You da Man, Geraint!
Rap Star Theodore Snake
Geraint was spotted by Snake as the rapper was taking ‘time out’ to see some of the North Wales scenery. He described how he heard a low, tremulous rap beat coming from a field somewhere nearby. He looked over a hedge and saw Geraint working his dog, Totty.
Skull Jackson, Theodore’s personal bodyguard, described what happened next.
‘T da man sow the bro in da field, an Da bro was wid da sheep, man.’
Geraint wowed the audience with what is now believed to be some of the earliest examples of European rap music known. At one point, he took his teeth out and rapped a Denbighshire mule song, rattling the dentures like a pair of castanets on his knee.
Excited but tired, Geraint said after his performance, ’When Mr Snake popped his head over the hedge, I was shifting trespassers off my field, and he gave me quite a surprise. I thought he was speaking Welsh, at first! You don‘t often see folk like him in Portmadoc.’
Yo da boyo! Geraint.
Stolen
A pair of green Hunter wellingtons have been taken from outside Mrs Leatherbarrow’s Atlantis 36 footer, at the Brambles, here on the retreat. ‘The Wellingtons had been left out to air for a while,’ said Mrs Leatherbarrow, who has offered a small reward for the safe return of the boots.
She has pointed out, as an aid to identifying the missing Hunters, that their colour matches her Honda Civic.
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Anyone with any information regarding the disappearance please report to security, or Heather Roberts in reception.
A pair of green Hunters
Colour is identical to Mrs Leatherbarrow's Honda Civic.
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Rhiannon's Health & Beauty Spa
Bathe in a fondue of bliss and vitality, here at Passing Clouds.
Rhiannon's Health & Beauty Spa
A regime of of excellence offered to those who value their well being above all. Tailored for the individual, Rhiannon's blueprint for the ultimate experience in health and beauty is an opportunity to become the you you've always wanted, and the you, you really deserve.
Make an appointment today and be first to enjoy the total absorbtion of tranquility and supreme nirvana, in the newly opened Sir Alex Ferguson sauna and meditation chamber. ..
..................................................................................................Explore the rapture of existential Evertonioinism with your very own care plan, devised by rapture specialist, Doctor Kenny Blenk, and share the secrets of fabulous well being, known to only but a few.
Dr Kenny Blenk
Rhiannon's for the you, you want to be
Rhiannon's ~ The Path to Paradise
Time and Space
"The Star Voyager Time Tunnel"
The new "Star Voyager Time Tunnel" experience is launched this week at Passing Clouds Holiday Homes.
Described as The Ride of a Lifetime Star voyager is a Molecular Reconfiguration and Phase Shift Magnatron device (MRPSM) and has been approved by the Board of Trade and the North Wales Welding Federation.
Captain Mike Peach. Voyager's Pilot
First in the queue, for a ride of his life time, is Brendan Thirlmere, The Rhyl Examiners science, food and technology correspondent. In an explosive article, featured in this weeks issue, Brendan reveals a very personal story that he feels the Star Voyager may help to redress.
This is Brendan's moving story:
A long time ago, I was reading a Dan Dare comic while waiting for a job interview. (Dan Dare was a British comic book hero who was hailed as ‘The World’s Number One Space Hero,’ and ‘Pilot of the Future!’)
He was a hero of mine, and the issue I was reading that day showed a cut-away picture of his space rocket. The picture showed where everything was, the flight deck, the main engine, the radio room; etc. Anyhow, at the front of the rocket there was a section that was left blank, with a note that read: ’Top Secret. Not to be revealed until 2010’
Well, I’ve waited all these years to find out what was hidden in the front of Dan’s rocket, But nothing’s happened. Years of wondering, when the world was facing so many great events, I was focussed on the day when all would be revealed in Dan’s rocket.
I’m not bitter, but had I been able to time travel, all those years ago, I’d have jetted to 2010 and found out it was all a ruse. Then, I’d have exposed Dan Dare as the fraud he was, and saved legions of his fans the torment of un-rewarded expectancy.
The bastard!
Brendan Thirlmere. Not bitter
Super League Dominoes
Domino League of North Wales in association with Ivor Parry-Jones.
Domino Super League Challenge Cup Quarter Final.
Rhyl Warriors versus Prestatyn Tightn's
Win two tickets to see the quater final between Rhyl Warriors and Prestatyn Tightn's at the Golden Gyro Dominodrome in Penmaenmawr.
Ivor Parry-Jones Colwyn Bay
Click on one of the cylinders to see your lucky number in the prize Domino Super League Draw and you could be on your way to Pemaenmawr for the Super League quarter final at the magnificent Golden Gyro Dominodrome
Breathing New Life
Few cinema go-ers of today will remember the time when mighty Wurlitzers thrust skyward at the front of theatres and picture houses, bringing with them gasps of admiration from surprised audiences as they burst into life. One such organ has risen, phoenix like, from the ashes of the old Roxy cinema, in Tendon street Llandudno.
Fondly referred to as, Eric, the organ is unique in being one of the few surviving gas driven Wurlitzers extant today. Gas driven organs of this kind were popular in North Wales at a time when the old Hoylake and Prestatyn Lighting company supplied marsh gas to homes and industry throughout the local area. The owner of H & P Lighting was the much respected Emrys Parry-Jones, grandfather of the Colwyn Bay entrepreneur, Ivor Parry-Jones, who’s endeavours have been pivotal in Eric’s restoration. Sadly, marsh gas has long since disappeared from the area but ingenuity has come to the fore. A clever modification to the organ’s fuel manifold means that Eric, now runs on Calor gas!
Senior organ restorer, Ronnie Ramone, was visibly moved when he struck the first chord during a ceremony to mark Eric’s return. ‘He’s running a bit flat at the moment’ Ronnie informed interested organ buffs who had gathered for the event. But he had words of hope. ’A bit of tuning and a new pressure regulator and he’ll be running fine.’
So far so good, but plans to mount Eric on his original hydraulic lifting ramp have hit a snag. The ramp was removed from the Roxy cinema and installed into Geraint Williams’ auto repair workshop in Ligament street, Colwyn Bay. Discussions are on-going but it is hoped a speedy and satisfactory outcome will soon prevail and Eric will, once again, reach for the sky.
Ronnie Ramone sits at the controls
Award
Our heartfelt thanks to Dot and Dave of Sevenoaks Art for bestowing this wonderful award to Passing Clouds Holiday Homes.
Carlos and Marjorie Roberts
Important Web Address Announcement
Members and home owners are advised that the site has now changed to a custom domain name:
http://www.passingcloudsholidayhomes.com/
The old address, ever-tsen.blogspot.com, will still direct you to the site but will not support some of the features now in place.
Carlos.
http://www.passingcloudsholidayhomes.com/
The old address, ever-tsen.blogspot.com, will still direct you to the site but will not support some of the features now in place.
Carlos.
New!
Lord Roberts, owner of Passing Clouds, announces a new and exciting initiative:
The Tented Paddock.
Here at Passing Clouds we are keenly aware of constraints which may be affecting many would-be future residents of our six star retreat. Whilst luxury has been a term closely linked with PC, our wishes are that no closed door should be a barrier to those who seek to enjoy the unique ambience we have to offer. Therefore, The Tented Paddock has been created with a view to ease the financial headache, that hitherto, kept a section of the public at bay from the welcome of our site.
The Tented Paddock allows for an affordable option to stand on the first rung of an experience we hope will eventually lead to the more ‘fixed’ accommodation available here.
Please note, entry to Hunters Golf Club and Rhiannons Beauty Spa will be strictly on an invitation only basis.
The Tented Paddock - Affordable Luxury
All Aboard!
Mike Kilo Victor One takes to the skies
Mike Kilo Victor One, Passing Clouds’ preserved Vulcan bomber, is rolling out for a summer spree of aerial excursions and seat of the pants mayhem.
Thirty minute trips from Heron Gwlad, our very own aerodrome, are scheduled for the coming months and will take in stunning views of Penmaenmawr and the Great Orme during a breathtaking sweep over Liverpool Bay and the Irish Sea.
People still chuckle over the slight hiccup during last winter's 'Santa Special' when a thermo nuclear device simulator accidentally slipped out of the bomb bay over Rhyl. Not so, Tiger Roberts, Mike Kilo’s pilot and senior maintenance engineer. “It could have been a passenger!” he warned, cleverly twiddling a universal metric ratchet in his experienced crafts-manlike hands.
The summer schedule kicks off with a fully booked flight celebrating the wedding of Mike and Sue Peach (both airline pilots who own a Caravelle Super 48 footer on the retreat) The matrimonial bond is being timed for a surprise, simulated bomb run over Penmaenmawr’s Golden Gyro pub, where the happy couple first met, and will doubtless be cheered by many cowering well wishers from the darts team in the Gyro’s car park below.
The remainder of the summer flights feature a galaxy of stars who will perform live in-flight entertainment for your enjoyment. Topping the bill will be old favourite and singing legend, Tony Fondle! Followed by a special quiz night extravaganza, featuring questions themed on the cold war.
So what are you waiting for?
Tickets available from Heather Roberts at reception. Ext 4385
Mike Kilo Victor One, Passing Clouds’ preserved Vulcan bomber, is rolling out for a summer spree of aerial excursions and seat of the pants mayhem.
Thirty minute trips from Heron Gwlad, our very own aerodrome, are scheduled for the coming months and will take in stunning views of Penmaenmawr and the Great Orme during a breathtaking sweep over Liverpool Bay and the Irish Sea.
People still chuckle over the slight hiccup during last winter's 'Santa Special' when a thermo nuclear device simulator accidentally slipped out of the bomb bay over Rhyl. Not so, Tiger Roberts, Mike Kilo’s pilot and senior maintenance engineer. “It could have been a passenger!” he warned, cleverly twiddling a universal metric ratchet in his experienced crafts-manlike hands.
The summer schedule kicks off with a fully booked flight celebrating the wedding of Mike and Sue Peach (both airline pilots who own a Caravelle Super 48 footer on the retreat) The matrimonial bond is being timed for a surprise, simulated bomb run over Penmaenmawr’s Golden Gyro pub, where the happy couple first met, and will doubtless be cheered by many cowering well wishers from the darts team in the Gyro’s car park below.
The remainder of the summer flights feature a galaxy of stars who will perform live in-flight entertainment for your enjoyment. Topping the bill will be old favourite and singing legend, Tony Fondle! Followed by a special quiz night extravaganza, featuring questions themed on the cold war.
So what are you waiting for?
Tickets available from Heather Roberts at reception. Ext 4385
Tiger Roberts (right) pilot and senior maintenance engineer of Mike Kilo Victor One, thanking ground crew and security staff following the recent overhaul of the Vulcan.
Verse of the Day
Tread the path, with both feet sure
Each joined in one endeavour
Sing stout the boot! they will not fail
'Souls' Vulcanised, forever
Ivor Parry-Jones
(this verse is reputed to have sustained Nelson Mandela through his long, dark days of captivity. Nelson did say that he didn't fully understand it, which can only add to the power of this magnificent piece)
Swn y Mor
Neath corrugated skies I stand before you
Oh mighty edifice of Orme
Where spume and ferment both engage you
My feet-a-tremble, Uncle Norm
The kittiwake aloft and watchful
The stormy petrel too
Llandudno lies at mercy
Neath the buttress, that is you
But rock of awe we all salute you
Safe haven, you provide
No caravan shall slip its mooring
Nor cast adrift, upon the tide
Ivor Parry-Jones
Convenience
Curl-master! Potty-master!
Sanitation fluid blue
Find them in the Captain’s Locker
Where some are used, and some are new
Mrs Leatherbarrow
(well done Mrs Leatherbarrow)
Science with Brendan Thirlmere
The weather here in Bangor has returned to its more familiar state with the recent bout of moderation no more than a distant memory. The rain has returned, and with it, the leak that drips through the deck above the fore-cabin of my boat and making a sodden mess of the fabric on my new foam seat cover.
Drip-drip-drip it went, all day yesterday. Every ten seconds, a drip landing on the foam.
So I decided to make a repair using some sealant and an old baked bean tin (a little trick I picked up in Bangalore)
The rain came again this morning and so did the drip. Not so frequent this time and I decided to time the leak using the stop-watch function on my mobile phone. One minute thirty three seconds! An improvement!
The rain continued to fall and it seemed to be getting heavier. I timed another drip and noticed the heavier rain had reduced the time of this drip to one minute thirty one seconds.
I kept on with the stop-watch test and came up with the following figures:
Drip 1 one minute twenty nine seconds.
Drip 2 one minute twenty six seconds
Drip 3 one minute twenty one seconds
Drip 4 one minute nineteen seconds
Drip 5 one minute seventeen seconds
Drip 6 one minute fifteen seconds
Drip 7 one minute thirteen seconds
Drip 8 one minute thirteen seconds
Drip 9 one minute thirteen seconds
Drip 10 one minute thirteen seconds
The leak had “saturated” at one minute thirteen seconds with the rainfall seemingly constant. I measured the area of the deck I thought to be the rainfall capture zone and made an estimation of the gradient of the deck above the fore-cabin. I then telephoned the Holyhead meteorology office and was informed the ash content delivered by the Icelandic volcano (Esspro!!lig*%thingy) was imparting a four micron particular component to a standard sixty second, one millilitre drip. So I was in luck! My drip had stabilised at one minute thirteen seconds and it was easy to extrapolate the Holyhead data to my own findings. I realised the rate of change was key to my study and set about identifying all the variables that were involved. The data was entered into an Excel file and a curve subsequently generated. I then set about developing a model for the dynamic progression and produced the following formula:
òP-(K/wt) + Ö4y
Where P = estimated rainfall density
K = Deck absorption
T = Drip time
The model worked beautifully and I was able to forecast the rainwater collection at the seat fabric target point to 98% accuracy.
I then sent the findings to the Bangor Hydro-Marine Technology Institute and have since received their detailed report, which follows:
Bangor Hydro-Marine Technology report.
You’ve got a leak, mate!
David is at a bit of a loose end just at the mo.
Brendan Investigates
Brendan Thirlmere uncovers a Breton secret
Every now and again, a set of circumstances can prevail that changes a seemingly mundane situation, into one of surreal and extraordinary proportions. And so it was for Brendan Thirlmere, the Rhyl Examiner’s senior food and drink correspondent when asked to deputise for the Examiner’s experienced travel writer, Roger Beavermint, whose availability was compromised due to an unfortunate driving ban. The assignment was to report on rural life in an area of mid-Wales, but a rare lapse into Brendan’s dyslexic function and a chance meeting with an intercontinental, Kingsmill bread delivery man, led him instead, in search of the…
...Breton Beetons.
This is his remarkable account:
Climbing from the back of the bread van…
(to be continued)
Low Rise
The Burj Bagillt down to thirteenth
It’s been a busy month for world super-structure record grabbing with the Burj Khalifa taking the tallest building title, which was lavishly celebrated during a spectacular opening ceremony in Dubai.
And further news of large appliance rivalry sees the Golden Gyro at Penmaenmawr lose its premier position as holders of the audio/visual record for in-bar entertainment. The Gyro’s ‘Big Screen’ has been dwarfed by a newly installed thirty six trillion mega pixel machine at the Conwy Indoor bowls and archery club, and Gyro landlord, Jacob Yehudi-Jones, is none too happy.
‘It’s a massive blow to the Penmaenmawr tourist trade,’ he said, as regulars in the bar shared the disappointment over a Monday morning pint. ‘We had them coming from miles away to see it.’
The Gyro’s next move is uncertain, but the sight of scaffolding being erected next to Sid Netanyahu’s tea shop, suggests the race for big screen supremacy may not be over.
In another blow to regional pride, it has emerged that the Dubai record breaking sky-scraper has relegated North Wales’ tallest building, the Burj Bagillt rates office in Rhyl, to thirteenth place in the world league.
Shrinking times!
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