Ivor in a deep canine tranceThe notorious but since reformed K.G B. agent, Dr Ivor Tammik will be performing is animal hypnotizing act at Passing Clouds, showing how easy it was during the cold war to train guard dogs at top secret installations throughout the U.K. to carry out covert spying, right under the noses of their handlers. He says, "I could get them to memorize 'Top Secret' Schematics and, through a complex usage of a dog whistle, could get them to bark and yelp the contents, which was recorded and then de-coded into useful information. Comrade "Dr Tammik is now living in the U.K. under his Capitalist name Shuggie Sludge bucket fae Troon.
2 comments:
Jacob Llewelyn-Goldstein, of the North Wales Sheep Dipping and Lamb Farming Union, writes:
Since hearing of Ivor's remarkable 'cold war' dog handling technique, we have adopted the same principle, without success, on the slopes above Penmaenmawr.
Is it necessary to have any formal knowledge of Estonian?
Actually naw. It wid seem that this hypnotizin' method goes way back tae the days of the Tsars when the Sammi herders of northern Europe cunningly hypnotized their Deer intae thinkin, they were Dumbarton F.C. supporters therby allowin' them tae be herded intae small arenas tae be slaughtered on a weekly basis. Ah witnessed this oan wan o' ma Extreme Survival outings. Slainte, John.
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